now

it’s crazy to look back on my previous web dev projects and portfolio from all the way back to 6th grade! i’ve improved so much, and it just makes me so happy :’) especially since i sometimes feel like im never really going to be completely satisfied with anything create. i will always want to improve more and more! it’s frustrating at times, but that’s how i grow. that’s why this garden is so special to me, bc it’s me accepting the “flaws” as just characteristics and shipping them. it’s a huge leap forward in “curing” my perfectionism :D

i think about systems of power a lot. anywhere i go im so cognizant of who holds the power and why. i was so deeply entrenched in activism and youth leadership when i was younger that i wonder why i feel so jaded now in a way, as if upon arrival here i found bigger bosses i didnt know existed. learning feels so selfish and greedy even though it shouldn’t be. colonial mentality has instilled the value of selflessness and servitude so deeply in me that doing anything for the self feels wrong. this is how deep the colonial wound goes, and it’s visible in our policies like how we police women’s bodies. how do we heal?

today, my digital garden goes live! i’m so excited, because there’s so much on the horizon. i’ve grown a lot this year, and i can’t wait to keep track of all the growth that’s to come here.